Probably

by Baba Sonya

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Adventures in instability.

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released March 28, 2017

Music and lyrics by Rachel Gawell and Mike Costaney
Produced/Engineered/Mixed by Pat Noon
Co-produced by Mike Costaney
Mastering by Alan Douches

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Baba Sonya New York, New York

Baba Sonya is

Mike Costaney
@mcostaney

Rachel Gawell
rachelgawell.com
@rachelgawell

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Track Name: Bones
I think I figured out how to hold myself
Hold myself back
Don't overdo it again
My friends don't know I don't have any skin
My bones float around, I can't hold them in
All we need to do is stay in touch
All we need to do is fall in line
The people who gave me my bones
There's no way that they would have known
How we would give up hope
How we would end up alone
The silence of my childhood sitting shaking on the rug
As my father gathered all of us and petrified our love
Track Name: Full
Grocery shop 'til our cabinet's full
Maxing out our cards 'til we don't sleep anymore
Let's tell all our friends that they're not our friends
It's not us it's them
Oh, I don't think I'm gonna like it here
The place in my mind where I think something weird
The logical collages of the shit I fear
I'm not gonna like it
Go tell me I'm alone and I will disappear
Tantrums of abandonment in every year
When I get to thinking I may like it after all
I'm not gonna like it
Hey, I pray towards what I'm grateful for every day
Light some candles up and put 'em on display
Just in case I forget (I'm not gonna like it)
I wanna visit Hawaii, I just need to find the money
Track Name: Sweet Thing
If I tell you I got it all wrong for years, oh no
If I tell you I've been here all along
Go ahead, call me out, go ahead, call me out sweet thing

If I tell you I don't know where I am, can we take directions
Can we figure it out from where we stand, sweet thing

Oh, I don't know
Oh, I'm not thinking
Oh, this is how I feel

If you tell me I can leave it all behind
You saw it too, I wasn't wrong, and I have been strong

What do you want?
Track Name: What Not to Do
Why don't you act on what you feel inside?
Why ain't you telling the truth
Taking your mother and your friends for a ride
I think you like the abuse

Are you some kind of masochist?
I'm trying not to victim blame but you're falling off your axis
Depression is a shade of one type of color
If you're painting with it you don't see any other

The God that exists around the flies in my mouth
Is never aware of its faults
But if the Gordian knot in my mentality slips
I bet it's a problem I caused

Cuz I'm some kinda masochist
Depending on my terrible memory to get me acting pissed
I should probably learn to stick up for myself
But it seems my mind is always stalling or somewhere else
Depression is a shade of one type of color
If you're painting with it you don't see any other
Track Name: Tasha
We used to share the waves of shame
Perennial and in our name
All these mornings and phone calls and drives through the night
And I swear it's your honesty that kept me alive

We used to share the weight the pain
We used to have so much fake pride
Nothing more to tend to than the earth we work
Nothing more to follow save the tide

The evening slipped away unnoticed
And your soul made its exit with the light
Saying "You go to the rest of this without me.
No offense meant, you will be alright."

My darling there is no offense taken
And I've recognized your ghost among my demons
But I do struggle to wake up
Faking everything
Cursing everything in sight that isn't you
My darling what did you do